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What Do You
Prize Most in Mid-life?
By Craig Nathanson,
The Vocational Coach
The big question: What's really important?
The message I deliver most to mid-life professionals is that
a key ingredient of happiness is finding vocational passion.
It's finding the perfect alignment of interests and
abilities that make going to work seem like it isn't work at
all.
People who find the magic balance tend to be healthier and
more energetic. In turn, they find more satisfaction in
other areas of their lives.
Too many people go through life without having their
interests and abilities aligned. The inevitable result is a
feeling of deep ennui as people drag themselves out of bed
every day to endure the grind required to support the
lifestyles of their families. You may do this well, even
exceptionally. But the work itself is rarely what propels
people. Instead, it's a sense of obligation or a feeling of
being trapped.
But there is another way. You can develop a plan to escape
the grind, then find work that means something and build a
comfortable lifestyle around it. Too many people allow
their lifestyles (or the lifestyles they are conditioned to
expect) to dictate the kind of work they do. And that is
where so many people get into trouble, both spiritually and
financially.
I discovered all of this the hard way. Now, my mission is
to take what I've learned and help others as they transition
into their life's vocational passion. This requires
courage, risk, and a willingness to make significant
personal changes. But with determination and planning,
anyone can do it. You will later ask yourself why you
waited so long.
Waking up to the rest of your life
I had a good job, a million-dollar house, and a great
family. I also had staggering personal debt from leading a
materialistic lifestyle. To top it off, I found no
satisfaction in my work.
My way out came suddenly. Three years ago, I had an
epiphany as I stood before my coworkers, giving yet another
Power Point presentation. I suddenly shut down. I realized
that I couldn't do it anymore.
I woke up the next morning and felt, more or less, back to
my old self. Perhaps they were right, I thought. Maybe I
just had a touch of the flu. So I drove to work. But I
never left the parking lot.
I didn't take the final plunge right away. I felt too tied
to the life I was living. So I struggled through other jobs
over the next few years. But the results and feelings were
the same.
Finally, I had enough. This was despite the responsibility
of being the sole provider for my wife and three children,
having a mortgage, caring for a seriously ill child, dealing
with growing medical bills, and shouldering $200,000 in
credit card debt.
In 2002, in the middle of a tough economy, I walked away
from a six-figure job as a vice president and managing
director of a billion-dollar multinational firm. This time,
there was no turning back.
I had no intention of walking away from my responsibilities.
But I had to find a way to earn an income in a more
meaningful way.
Today, I have a private consulting practice, a busy speaking
schedule, and a book - all focused on helping others in
mid-life discover and do what they love. Every day in my
practice, I see people who are having the same emotional,
professional, financial, and relationship challenges that I
went through.
It wasn't easy getting here. The first few years were
extremely painful. Financial stress increased,
relationships were strained, and emotional stress reached
all-time highs. But now, three years later, I have finally
emerged with a more congruent and authentic life. I say with
confidence that it has all been worth it.
The first step: Know what matters to you
If you want to find your vocational passion, it has to begin
with a question: What is most important to you? This may be
the most important question you will ever ask yourself. You
need to look deep inside yourself to turn your vague
longings into tangible goals, with real paths toward
achieving them.
Once you answer the question and see the path that the
answers light for you, then it's time to summon the courage
to make the transition.
Matt Vande Voorde walked away from an executive position at
a large bank to follow what he prized most in his life:
magazine publishing. His dream was to one day publish a
magazine targeted at helping people with disabilities use
the Internet. Today, Matt is the proud publisher of
Accessible Content Magazine.
Jim Goebelbecker was tired of long hours selling products
that he didn't care about. He prized his family and
nonprofit work. He also took a risk and never looked back.
Today, Jim is an executive with a large nonprofit on the
east coast. He works just 10 minutes away from his home.
Five steps to discover and follow your passion
Making this level of change in your life isn't an overnight
process. Once you understand that a change is essential to
making the rest of your life matter, you can follow this
simple process to move your dreams and desires into concrete
actions.
Evaluate what you want. Ask the big questions and answer
them honestly. Why lie to yourself?
Envision your future. You need to visualize what you're
dreaming about. Then, develop a concrete understanding of
what it will take to get there.
Tune out negative feedback. Everyone will try to talk you
out of doing this. Listen to yourself.
Assess your risks. Take an inventory of your assets,
obligations, and health. Then, make the necessary
adjustments that will minimize the impact and risk of making
a major life change.
Take small steps. You don't have to quit tomorrow. You can
start in small ways by doing research on your dream
vocation, maybe taking a class. Or you can make small
lifestyle changes to reduce your personal "burn rate."
In the end, you must give yourself permission to follow your
heart. That's what I did. So did Matt, Jim, and so many
others. They now jump out of bed each morning looking
forward to a day of vocational passion. You can have this
feeling too. First, you must decide what's really most
important.
Craig Nathanson, The Vocational Coach, works with those in
mid-life to discover and do the work they love. He is the
author of "P is for Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day,"
by Book Coach Press. He publishes the free monthly e-zine,
"Vocational Passion in Mid-life." Craig believes the world
works a little better when we do the work we love. Visit
his online community at
http://www.thevocationalcoach.com
where you can sign up for his monthly tele-class and the
vocational passion action groups.
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